When I look at my sons and daughters, I wonder to myself if I ever gave them the right jewels for being in a healthy relationship. Better yet, I wonder if I gave them the right tools at all? I want them to build and raise the value of their friendships; not tear them down recklessly. Nevertheless, I have to be realistic. This is 2020.
When I was figuring life out 25 years ago, I didn’t have to deal with social media platforms, or the weaponry of a cell phone whether it be recording and posting, or straight lethal exposing someone. Talk about psychological trauma! No female ever broke up with me by text and I am so grateful.
This is some straight foolishness though for generation X; and sadly, it's a way of life for many of our children. And that’s really unfortunate because they need options.
So, this message is right to the point. I need to address the toxicity of “Bad Relationships!”
Lauren Hill said it best, “it could all be so simple, but you rather make it hard!” Loving you is like a battle; and we both end up with scars.” Preach!
After you have been married for 20 years, you learn a thing or two along the way. And I do not want to be deep because that’s not gon’ cut it when times get hard. So, brotha’s and sista’s, there are some things we need to figure out before we get into serious relationships.
First: You cannot raise another adult. Hopefully, the person has been equipped with the skills and abilities to complete the union. Otherwise, it is a journey of patience, understanding yielding growth within the partnership. We spend too much time thinking we can change people. Never gon’ happen!
Second: If you are responsible, you have covered a majority of petty arguments. Talk about prevention of removing unwanted scars. When a person finds a reliable friend, promises aren’t broken. Do not do it for the reciprocity, but on the other hand, do it because “love matters.”
Last: Please forgive. Let it go and move on. Jesus instructs us in the gospel of Matthew 18:22 to forgive 70 times 7. Meaning over and over- you get the point.
I shared this message with my oldest daughter Noriah. I told her I did not have any problem with her dating a guy as long as he was going to protect her heart and not harm her as I had done. Otherwise, let him practice on someone else.
Parents talk with your kids before some narcissistic person does. The worse thing in the world is for someone to think friendship is getting slapped in the face, called a b*t*h, or threatened into submissiveness mistaking it for love.
Being abuse-free means living in the purpose and manner for which God created you. Being abuse-free means knowing who and whose you are.
Matthew 22:37-39 declares,
“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your
soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."
The light turned green. “Go!”